One River at a Time

Easy on the eyes doesn't hurt a bit. Credit: Movie release, New Line Cinema

I’m rereading the J.R.R Tolkien Series “The Lord of the Rings” again. Again? I know the story but I am not sure if I’ve ever made it through the entire series before. ‘Bilbo’ was required reading in my high school and I enjoyed it when I re-read it last month. There were many things I remember reading and some that I do not recall at all.

Have I read the other books in the series? I think I’ve tried but these are hard books to read. A few instances of difficulty:

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• Names:
  • the characters all have unique names that are not common in our vocabulary;
  • many of the names sound a lot like each other;
  • some of the names change depending on which character is talking (Elves say one thing, Dwarves another, Men another)

ex. Tom Bombadil (modern) is also Iarwain Ben-adar (ancient) is also Forn (Dwarves) is also Orald (Northern Men)

• Geography: Tolkein had a whole world formed in his head and he took painstaking care to tell us every detail about it on each page. Every corner, every bush, every river bend plus place-names from the past, stories about ancient ruins – - he sweeps the reader across his world in a moment blasting off regions and towns and people-groups and mapped locations.

• Poetry/songs: Every few pages there is verse and rhyme and poetry that are essential to the plot. It can be hard to follow, hard to read, hard to digest.

Most of these things were a challenge when I was a distracted, split-minded teenager with a short attention span. I hated the poems (though I professed to be a poet), and I acted like the descriptions of the land were small torture and I couldn’t connect with the characters because I wasn’t able to pin down their names and relationships.

Repeated exposure to the books has helped; as has age and interest; and of course the movies didn’t hurt either.

But these things I’ve listed are not the only reasons why these books are hard to read.

The heros and supporting staff in these books go through misery after misery, get into scrape after terrifying scrape, fall into deep darkness, death, captivity, and desolation. Many times in the books there is no food, no shelter, no hope. And it happens over and over and over again. From time to time they find a respite in a most delightful place, (Tom Bombadils house, Rivendel, Loth Lorien) but these beautiful rests are often faded memory in light of the trials they face ~ without them, though, the journey would be impossible!

Misery is hard to read, hard to enjoy. But somehow I read on. Past the misery are the hearts of those who overcome and this is why I keep on reading. Frodo perseveres, Gandlaf the Grey believes the best, Sam Gamgee is loyal to the end, Merry and Pippin bring a child-like faith and a levity with them whenever possible.

The bad guys are baaaaaaaad, scary, cruel, evil, deceptive, lurking, spying, seeking, slithering and murderous.

The good guys are flawed but noble.

And then there is Aragorn. The cloaked true King who wanders as a ranger. It is Aragorn who leads them through some of the worst. It is Aragorn who scouts and tracks and listens and lies awake at night to protect them. It is Aragorn who believes they can do it but is honest when his hope is lost. It is Aragorn who pursues these little “worthless” people to the ends of the Earth to save and support and serve them.

Aragorn is a ragtag with a bad reputation. He is lonely (though a beautiful love awaits him in Rivendell) as he travels far and wide as a protector (He has several names, too! Strider, Aragron son of Arathorn, Dunandain, Chief of the Rangers, the heir of Isildur, Estel to name a few…)

It is Aragorn who, when the hobbits begin to wonder about the journey and fret over what is ahead who says,

One river at a time!

Indeed.

Haiti. Health care reform. Tiger Woods, once a hero in our midst, is not who we thought he was. The terrorist factions are relocated and as powerful or more as when they attacked on 9/11. Religious riots in Nigeria. Rigged elections across the world. Human and drug trafficking. Domestic Violence. Addictions. The world is full of misery!

But there are respite spots, too (and most Americans LIVE in this respite state, reading the news of the suffering of others, but spared from it ourselves.) The world responds to Haiti with compassion and giving. Health care will find it’s way somehow. Maybe now Tiger Woods can get some help and become the same person in public and private. Terrorism is still fought one battle at a time and for every successful attack of hate there are many that are foiled. Religious riots have always been and will probably always be but there has also always been people who give, forgive, serve, sacrifice, and love in the name of religion. The same can happen in politics, too. There are people who have overcome seemingly insurmountable odds who turn and tell a story of courage, hope, truth, and freedom.

And the only way I can handle any of this out there or any of the things I must come across in my little world is to do it, “One river at a time.”

All that is gold does not glitter,

Not all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,

A light from the shadows shall spring;

Renewed shall be blade that was broken,

The crownless again shall be king. ~ Tolkien

If Frodo didn’t triumph in the end it would all have been for nothing! But he did overcome, he was changed forever, and yet, he overcame.

Merry 2010! And may this decade leave sorrow behind and triumph ahead!

Chicken*@!#

Many pardons to my gentle readers (aren’t you all gentle?) but there are some things in life that are just chicken*@!#

Despite what my mom says (or wants to remember) this is a family word <<otherwise how would I know it since this word predates my generation? We used words like “sucks” and “bull*@!# – yes, chicken*@!# is a boomer generation word.

And in my moms defense I will say that my dad probably used it more (but c’mon mom, no one buys the squeaky clean version of our family anyway, we are perfectly flawed!)

“Chicken*@!#”, unlike the 2009 Word of the Year ‘unfriend’, is not nor will it be, in the dictionary. But we all know what it means.

It means crappy, but not just in quality, but in intention (or lack thereof). The  free online dictionary defines it as,

Vulgar slang
n.
1. Contemptibly petty, insignificant nonsense.
2. A coward.

adj

1. Contemptibly unimportant; petty.

2. Cowardly; afraid.

It seems like things that are chicken*@!# fall into one of two categories:

• things that are not very well thought out
• things that have been thought-out to death with so many contingencies (controls) in place that it loses its original intent<<to be fun or bring joy or educate or whatever the case may be

I try to be pretty balanced and understanding; I think I try to see where people are coming from (easier outside my family) and look to find their true intentions. If I don’t I will be miserable! And in my professional pursuits this is a must. But here, on my personal blog I do like to rant a bit (“flame” as my friend Kim points out) and so here it is. Things that are pretty chicken*@!# if you ask me:

• my child signs up for an art class, PAYS MONEY, and goes for a few weeks as they work on a mural to be displayed in the principals office. When it comes time for the unveiling my child informs me, “My work is not on there.” “Are you sure? Keep looking.” “Yes, I’m sure.” Her eyes begin to water. So I seek out the art teacher and ask her about this and she flat-out says: some of the artwork was altered in the transfer [to permanent boards] but all the work is there. Well, I point out, my child says hers is NOT there, she painted a pink snake. Answer (I kid you not): some of the younger kids screwed it up and we had to redo a lot of it, it looked terrible. I asked her how a child could screw anything up and if it wasn’t age-appropriate for 6 year olds, why have them participate? More of the same plus no resolution (what could she do now anyway, it’s done?). Chicken*@!#.
• I hear of a first grade presentation for my other daughter’s class and write an email to teachers et.al. to be sure she will be included despite her ’special abilities’. I get a response that says, “Oh yes, of course, we are all over that.” We show up to the early morning assembly and beam at the children all set in a line. Each one holds up a picture and reads a statement about things we need vs. things we want. What boldness! What candor! What great ideas! Then it comes to my child and – pfft – it’s over. Nothing. She says nothing, she has nothing to show. She was attached to the end of the line and she just stood there. (Her part was to stand next to her friend while she read hers). Really? Really. [Note: she is unable to participate without adult support - we would've provided it ourselves had we known: helped her draw a picture, recorded her input on an output device, etc.] Great job, B.C. you did a great job standing there like an appendage<< not her fault. I can’t tell for sure but later it seemed like her feelings were hurt about that; I know mine were. Chicken*@!#.
• I have been involved in several work-related groups in my 18 months at my last job. Many of them I have cultivated great professional relationships and friendships even to the extend of supporting their businesses with cheap freelance work. I went to one for the last time to say goodbye to my esteemed colleges. One such person who I had worked closely with on several projects stood coldly before me. I offered a friendly side-hug and said, “today is my last day; it’s been nice doing business with you.” Response? A loud, curt, dismissing: “Bye!” No laugh. No just kidding. Um, bye. Chicken*@!#.
• I could name a few more but I promise I have been in more GRATITUDE lately than anything else and I’m not here to just drag society thought the mud (but ask me later about the lawyer situation, the sellers disclosure on the last house we bought, and an oldie but goodie: Joel’s guitar.)

The world does not revolve around me and my children, that’s fine. Life on life’s terms, they say,  and I think I usually roll with the punches. But sometimes I just think, How important is it for things to be perfect? How hard is it to think things through just a little bit?

When I used to hear my dad declare, “chicken*@!#”, I usually had the sense that he was angry, not at me but FOR me, on my behalf. It was as if he was saying, Yea, you may have a right to do that but didya have to? Really? Chicken*@!#. He felt the same way about us as I do about my children. Life has enough hard knocks that can’t be helped. They can’t always be picked for the team or  be given a speaking part or be included in groups of friends – -but some things can be avoided with just a little forethought. Effort, just a little, goes a long way. My kid shows up and puts in the effort (and we are there supporting them), rewarding their efforts even a little goes a long way. With them and with me.

I know I do stuff that is chicken*@!#. Probably a lot of things. I hope that when I know about them I try to apologize, make it right, change my ways.

What do you think? Chicken*@!#? Or not?

I guess chicken*@!# may be in the perception of the beholder.

Post script: We attended a holiday performance last night where B.C had a bell attached to her arm (she shook it herself!) and Fi was given snow to throw – precious! And very, very fun for all!